Lance Armstrong: Optimist or Narcissist?

"That’s what he called himself in the second installment of his Oprah interview: an optimist.  He said constitutionally, he’s built like his mother to look forward and not talk about the past.  And I suppose that’s what keeps a lot of narcissists out of therapy.  They just keep moving forward, leaving the wreckage of other people in the dust, devoid of self-reflection.

Interestingly, Lance himself said that he has been in therapy only sporadically, when he needs to be in continuously.  You can say that again.

The first half of the Oprah interview revealed a man incapable of true contrition, and to me, it’s because he seemed incapable of real empathy.  The absence of empathy is a cornerstone of narcissism, as well as its twin, sociopathy, something that is also in evidence in the pattern of Lance’s ruthless campaign against those who spoke out (truthfully) against him.


He admitted to bullying people, but didn’t look like he had any emotional connection to that statement.  He’d merely been “trying to control the narrative.”  In order to do that, he then admitted to suing so many people he wasn’t even entirely certain he could name them all.  He destroyed many people so that he could remain unsullied.  So that he could protect his reputation.
That’s another sign of his rampant narcissism: controlling the narrative–which is one of making yourself look superior to others–at all costs.  He wanted to preserve public opinion even as he hurt those closest to him, people he then branded as traitors.  In his personal narrative, they had betrayed him.  Because he’s not built to look back or to think deeply about others.  He trains to move forward.

Amazingly, he didn’t seem to think deeply even about his own children or the collateral damage they might become.  In the second half of his interview, he finally broke down, and it was while talking about how he had to confess to his 13-year-old son.  He told his son that he had lied, and his son should no longer bear the burden of defending him.

But Lance gave his son, gave all his five children, that burden to carry for years, on into the future as they attempt to make sense of their father’s disgrace, and grapple with his character.  Lance was so sure that he could control the narrative, so willing to annihilate to do so, that he appeared not to think about the possible consequences to his children, and the risk he was taking with their lives.

Most significantly, I noticed that even when Lance got emotional talking about his son, he never said anything about the example he has set for his children: what he taught them about the world and about integrity and about how we should and shouldn’t treat people.

What struck me, in that moment of Lance’s emotion, was that he was still not feeling the cost to his son; he was feeling the cost for himself.  He was having to face the relational consequence of his actions, and perhaps his fear that his children would see him as flawed.  But lucky for him, his son, his staunchest defender, immediately said, “Sure, Dad, no problem, I love you.”
And that, in its way, is troubling, too.  Was his son as dismissive of what Lance has done to other people, as Lance seems to be himself?  After all, Lance is now conducting his apology tour, but with a visible absence of contrition.

He destroyed people’s reputations and livelihoods.  He betrayed the ideals of his foundation (a foundation that now appears to have been more about feeding his personal ego than helping others, as he could have come clean a long time ago and bowed out and thus, ensured the continued success of their mission.)  He betrayed his children.

And in part 2, the more remorseful chapter of his interview, he still came back to himself: Others, he said, are serving a light sentence, while he got the ban for life.  ”A death sentence,” he called it.  He doesn’t think that’s fair.
But is he doing this interview as a way to lift the lifetime ban? No, he says.  It’s for his children.  He’s “gotta get this right for them.”  The naivete and the hubris of thinking that he can do that with an Oprah interview is staggering.  To me, that’s fully florid narcissism. But then, one woman’s narcissism is another man’s optimism.

Oh, and what is Lance’s son supposed to say if any kids bring this up?  ”Do not defend me,” Lance says, “just say, ‘Hey, my dad said he was sorry.’”  And clearly, that should take care of all of it."*

SOURCE: Brown, Holly. "Lance Armstrong: Optimist or Narcissist?". http://blogs.psychcentral.com 23. Jan. 2013.

VIXXA SAYS..."NARC!". 

Give the man a break!! After all, your hard-earned money spent on "LIVESTRONG" bracelets went directly to...CANCER RESEARCH! Thank God they found a cure! 

Wait...there is STILL no cure for cancer of the balls? 

Oh. Damn.

Answered Fan Mail: How to Cope with Overwhelming Expectations & Few Resources

I got this question in an email with a fan (and fellow artist), and had to respond in blog format, as it is an age-old battle that I've been trying to conquer in many different ways throughout the years. 

"I've got to do at least three new pieces for this art show before the end of the month and I'm stressing out. So many things for one little brain to deal with. How do you cope with overwhelming expectations, and too few resources!?"

Uhh...well, adderall is my very close and personal friend in crunch times like these...

But seriously. There are a few organizational techniques that I do to help with overwhelming thoughts and expectations, and handle stress. There are also several supplements and dietary changes that can help, as well.

1) Meditation
When/if you're feeling too overwhelmed, I always recommend taking a step back to clear your mind.
Meditation is a great exercise for clearing all of the "jam-up" or overload of thoughts in your mind, worries and concerns.
Some free audio meditations that I use are:
Fragrantheart.com
Themeditationpodcast.com (free audio meditations can also be found on iTunes)


2) Make SMART Goals.
The acronym called "SMART" Goals helps you define and plan your actions in a realistic action plan. The acronym describes the type of goals you should be setting for yourself in order to accomplish all the tasks on your list.

Specific - "I will be finished my first piece by Friday at 7pm."
Measurable - "One piece should be done by Friday; I will allow myself three days for the next, and another three to finish the last."
Attainable - Make sure that your goals are achievable. Don't set yourself on finishing three pieces in a weekend cram session.
Realistic - Be realistic with yourself. Personally, I am a slow learner. I know that, while I would *love* to achieve such-and-such by x date, I am someone that needs a lot of down time, and have to maintain a certain lifestyle in order to maintain my mental and physical health (so, factor in time to eat, sower, sleep, and do your life stuff).
Timely - Make sure that you are able to decipher between Immediate Goals (finishing the pieces for the show, getting them entered, showing up to the event in a timely manner with all of your supplies, etc...); once you are past this show, you can then begin to focus on Short-Term Goals (for example: Do one show per month or Spend $40.00/month on art supplies); and Long-Term Goals (sell x amount of pieces over the year; enter a piece into a major gallery)...so on and so forth.


3) Supplements -
Rhodiola. Rhodiola is an adaptogenic herb that assists the body in coping with stress. It also helps fight mental and physical fatigue.
Ashwaghanda. Also an adaptogenic herb.
Korean Ginseng. For mental focus and clarity.
Of course, a good, whole-food multi-vitamin. Fish oil or flax seed oil and a good B-complex supplements is also helpful for overall energy and focus. (Take a B-COMPLEX over just B12 or B6...the entire compound works better together than an isolated B12 for example, which does not absorb entirely into the body).


4) Get enough sleep & exercise.
Even a daily 20-minute walk is good to keep your anxiety at a manageable level. Sleep is a MUST, and I know from being a starving artist and resident thespian that long hours are often mandatory at times. So, get your 8 hours in while you can, and stay on a regular circadian rhythm (up with the sun, relax and wind down at night time).

and 5) Get it done, and don't try for perfection.
I am a big hypocrite here, but I *really* do try to remind myself daily: Perfection does not exist.
Ideals and standards, technique are all par for the creative process, but often it stands in our own way as a huge mental/creative block.
Another great saying or way of thought is, "Done is better than perfect".
I had a friend once tell me that he used to give motivational speeches to large crowds of sales recruits and employees. He would often sweat over trying to make it good, and take time and space to pump himself up before every speech. But, a colleague went up to him once and said, "Dude...don't try to be great. Just give the speech." It was one of the best speeches he ever made.

So...Don't try to be great. Just finish the pieces, get your butt out there and follow through with the task: selling that artwork, and expanding your name.

6) As for resources, and conservation of them....just remember: Your resources are finite, so try to use them efficiently. God knows it's impossible to stick to ever budget by the dime, or allow for completely efficient time use. But, your resources are: Time, Money, and Energy. Ultimately, they are basically all the same thing. It's hard to work on little money, but being a creative person allows you to find shortcuts by finding cheap supplies, multi-tasking, and maximizing your profit. And don't be afraid of your inner salesman. Get that MONEY when you sell your artwork!!! Build rapport, and customer relationships. Listen to what people like or would like to see. So, next time you won't be as limited on ideas for subjects or on cash.

Hope that helps!!