Blog Column by Actress/Model/Dancer/Writer, Vixxa Violet
| ||
Other members: Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD. Pathological narcissism was first described in detail by Freud. Other major contributors are: Klein, Horney, Kohut, Kernberg, Millon, Roningstam, Gunderson, Hare. The onset of narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers. There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions - from the mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder. Narcissists are either "Cerebral" (derive their narcissistic supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) - or "Somatic" (derive their narcissistic supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and "conquests"). Narcissists are either "Classic" - see definition below - or they are "Compensatory", or "Inverted" - see definitions here: "The Inverted Narcissist". NPD is treated in talk therapy (psychodynamic or cognitive-behavioral). The prognosis for an adult narcissist is poor, though his adaptation to life and to others can improve with treatment. Medication is applied to side-effects and behaviors (such as mood or affect disorders and obsession-compulsion) - usually with some success. (Ha...good luck trying to get a N into therapy...they avoid it like the plague). NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity") - or with substance abuse, or impulsive and reckless behaviors ("dual diagnosis"). NPD is new (1980) mental health category in the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM). There is only scant research regarding narcissism. But what there is has not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to NPD. It is estimated that 0.7-1% of the general population suffer from NPD. **I WOULDN'T READ ANYTHING INTO THIS STATISTIC--IT IS WAY HIGHER THAN THAT, AND I KNOW IT FOR A FACT. MOST N'S ARE NEVER DISCOVERED, because they do not engage in criminal / outwardly unacceptable behavior--thus, keeping the illusion of grandeur and perfection intact. An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met:
Some of the language in the criteria above is based on or summarized from: American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fourth edition, Text Revision (DSM IV-TR). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association. The text in italics is based on: Sam Vaknin. (2003). Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited, fourth, revised, printing. Prague and Skopje: Narcissus Publication. Based on my life experience, I believe NPD is VERY high in director/producer types. Yes, it is good (and healthy) to have a vision, and believe in that vision...and see it through. There are also very healthy types of narcissism (especially for abuse victims who have been beaten down their whole lives, and told that it is THEY who are the problem). However...I've seen it a gazillion times: director/producer shmoozes/charms/talks his way into the ideal "fantasy" of his TV show, his production company, his movie...he targets young, budding "actress" types who want to excel and succeed...then he uses them for their talent, beauty, time and gives basically nothing in return but criticism and excuses. (I have references, ladies....feel free to contact me @ vixxavioletmodel@gmail.com). | ||
| HIGH-RISK SIGNS | |
| He is able to cast an almost irresistible hypnotic spell which draws you toward him. You are fascinated with his charm and you love to listen to him. He quickly wants to include you in his grandiose plans and future successes. You are excited that you have finally met "Mr. Right," since you can't see any obvious personal flaws. | |
| You can't seem to find many specific details about his troubled childhood. He was possibly abused or neglected. He has unresolved bonding breaks: a lengthy illness of himself or a primary caretaker; or a conflicted family; a divorce, or a delayed adoption. He has unresolved childhood problems, and is frequently childish and immature. | |
| His primary family relationships are marked by conflict and distance. Or they seem to swing between cloying sweetness and war. These relationships may still control his life. | |
| He seems to have serious difficulty with authority figures such as bosses or law-enforcement officials. He may have had habitual run-ins with the law as a juvenile and as an adult which he may boast about. His work history is murky. | |
| When you go out with him it's either by yourselves or with his "new acquaintances" since he doesn't seem to have friends who go way back. People he introduces you to early in the relationship seem to disappear later on. His past loves have not been long-lasting relationships. | |
| He appears powerful and super self-confident, almost to an exaggerated point. He definitely likes to control others through words (conning), money, or physical strength. He is egotistical and self-centered. He is either moody and quiet or very talkative. | |
| He comes and goes and you don't really know where or with whom. | |
| You have mixed feelings about trusting him, and at times he seems sneaky. You think that he lies but he's hard to pin down, and he won't accept blame or express remorse when it is clearly his fault. He can sympathize but not empathize. | |
| You notice that he approaches sex in an aggressive, forward way. He usually has a voracious sexual appetite, especially at first, and you sense that he has been extremely promiscuous. He acts interested in you but he is primarily interested in seeking his own pleasure rather than sharing sensitively with his partner. He may become rough and interested in sado-masochistic practices. (Note: females are extremely seductive, flirtatious, and manipulative with their sexuality.) | |
| He seems impulsive and unsettled and rarely carries through on projects, saying he is now moving on to "bigger fish." He is always looking for more stimulation and excitement and takes unbelievable chances. His job history and education are usually scattered and unfinished, although he says that's his choice. | |
| You realize that he is manipulative, controlling and conning toward others and rarely displays kindness unless it's for direct personal gain. He may be kind to a cute waitress or sales client but is abusive and cold to a male waiter or a clerk. He is shallow and superficial. | |
| He appears closer to money than anything else. He is either tightly controlling and stingy with material items, letting you know how much everything costs, or he is parasitic in wanting to live off your labor. Be especially careful if he want to borrow or invest large sums of your money. He believe that he owns you and is extremely possessive and jealous. | |
| Be careful if he regularly consumes any drug, including alcohol, even if he tells you it's recreational and he can take it or leave it. Addictions are easy to cover at first so beware of mood changes. Be especially aware if he has a short fuse and displays indications of violent behavior. | |
| He may profess a religion but his actions indicate that he secretly delights in aligning with evil and the dark side of life. You sense that he has a cruel nature inside because he smiles at people's misfortune and pain. | |
| Finally, he is so believable and charming that despite many obvious high-risk symptoms you think that the problems between you are as much your fault as his and you just have to "love him" more to make a difference, even though deep inside you know he is Mr. Wrong. |
